I had a recent epiphany which must have stowed away on a journey back from The Magical Land of What in the World - a mysterious place that most of my children's questions and general comments about life come from. There's no rhyme or reason to them, but they come anyway. "Mom, why is Daddy a beautiful pancake?" "Mom, when I was a baby I sprayed poop all over like a skunk!" "Mom, who is the Avengers' dad?"
So my epiphany was like that. I don't know why it came, but it did. And thanks to it, I have finally figured out why as teenagers we are sent to Girls' Camp. I know, I know. I know the reason they say - to give girls a positive experience with each other, to learn new skills, to have time to ponder the beauty of the outdoors. These are all valid reasons, but the real reason, the one they don't tell you, is that Girls' Camp is a rose-colored taste of motherhood. Wrapped in the giggly excitement of being 14 and away from home, all these things seem new and unusual and happy and something to savor in pine-scented memories; however, they are also an opportunity to peek through the shades into the future that awaits you once you become Mommy.
Let us explore some examples:
GC: Sleeping in a tent. Snuggled up next to your girlfriends, whispering and happily complaining about the cold air and the lumpy ground, it's super fun for one day, kind of fun for two days, alright for three, and happy to be headed home by day four.
Motherhood: Sleeping in a recliner, toddler bed, on the floor, or, on a lucky night, your own bed - wherever you give in to the zombiehood and finally pass out. Snuggled up, in sleep, next to the children who are also constantly hanging on you in the daylight hours , it's super sweet for one hour, kind of sweet for two hours, and by years three and four you are tempted to go throw a sleeping bag out in the cold air and on to the lumpy ground just to have a few seconds of sweet sleep alone.
GC: Learning and singing ridiculous songs that make everyone laugh. This is such a fun part of Girls' Camp, learning the songs, singing them to each other at morning get-togethers or around the fire, making up words about your experiences in the woods.
Motherhood: Learning and singing ridiculous songs that help everyone settle down after the family 4 am cry-fest. Remember these songs. You'll need them as well as your ability to improvise lyrics on the spot. When Baby gets up every hour, feeling sad for no indeterminable reason, you'll begin singing these Girls' Camp songs as well as seven variations on their lyrics in an effort to keep you both from crying. It probably won't work, but after crying, you'll feel better enough to keep on singing. And at some point, these crazy words will become the happy lullabies, the loving soundtrack to your children's childhoods.
GC: Helping with chores like cooking dinner and cleaning up. At Girls' Camp, you are given responsibilities that you may not otherwise have at home. I know while I was at Girls' Camp, we prepared a chicken dish for dinner. This was the first time some of the girls had touched raw chicken and while they thought it was yucky, it was also fun and exciting because of the environment and the fun people cheering them on.
Motherhood: You will sell your soul to chores like cooking dinner and cleaning up. Your environment may look more like building block castles and the cheering section will probably sound more like Baby totally freaking out because the moment he MUST be held or die is also always the make-or-break moment in the dinner preparations. The good news is, though, that compared to lots of other jobs that come with mothering, raw chicken doesn't seem nearly so yucky.
GC: Comforting homesick friends who find themselves so sad they cry all night long.
Motherhood: I think we already discussed this. You're going to spend lots of time comforting people who cry all night long. But as we also already discussed, with those silly songs in your toolbox, you'll be prepared!
GC: "Snipe" hunting. I don't know who else was subjected to this, but my first year, the older girls woke me up at some unholy hour and whispered excitedly to me that if we hurried, there was a good chance I would get to see the elusive snipe that haunts the woods around where I grew up. The tale said this creature was a medium-sized black and white bird with huge yellow eyes. So I ran around like a headless goose, while members of the Snipe Committe, all dressed in black, followed me around the woods, making snipe sounds and shining their flashlights through tree leaves, so I would think I had just caught a glimpse of the beast's eyes. It was all very exciting.
Motherhood: "Snipe" hunting. Or monster hunting. Or hunting for the asparagus and/or shark that is digging a hole in the side of the house and keeping the babies wide-eyed with terror way past their bedtime. (True story. Not sure why asparagus and sharks. I presume this also is only explained by The Magical Land of What in the World.) Or hunting for anything that the littles' minds dream up and tell them they should be afraid of. And more often than not, these sojourns through the dark house or bedroom or closet to find the offensive imaginary creature happen way past the witching hour when everything is so dark and creepy that you yourself begin to feel a little frightened of the Asparagus Ghost.
GC: Latrine duty. Although this is also yucky at girls' camp, it makes you feel like a brave adventurer, as you strike off in the twilight, with your friends at each arm, to wipe down the toilet seat and replace the toilet paper. With them by your side, you can do anything.
Motherhood: I don't know if you know this, but in Latin, "mother" literally translates to: "she who spends approximately 85% of her time cleaning up, encouraging, or worrying about bodily fluids." This latrine duty is very good practice, as you will be cleaning lots of toilets in your motherhood career. And with your kids by your side, you'll have to do everything, including use the bathroom. If you don't include them in this activity and try to be sneaky by creeping in and softly shutting the bathroom door, they will hear the minute click from across the house and decide that if they cannot be with you THIS INSTANT all their limbs will probably fall off. And they will shriek accordingly.
GC: Taking time to appreciate beautiful things that you are always grateful for, but don't normally focus on.
Motherhood: Learning to recognize these small beauties is what makes the day-to-day grind of motherhood rewarding. Internalizing and appreciating the glow of understanding in a child's face, their happy giggles when they are supposed to be sleeping, her breathless excitement when a doggie licks her face, his joy at being celebrated on a birthday, and the warm love that flows as they cuddle against you.
Motherhood is awesome. Like at Girls' Camp, there are some days that you just get worn out, but at the end of the week, it's the happy memories and the moments that touch your spirit that keep you coming back next year. Or week. Or day.
Happy camping.
